If these basic human needs are present in all relationships, then that's half the job done, however you need to treat your date and courtship similar to an interview session, whereby you not only use all that time for fun.
But before SKELETON WOMAN TURNS UP, you get as much information about your partner's personality type, see if you are compatible or not and based on their personality type, are they capable of providing you with what you want in life, doing it at their best, all the time and in the long term of your partnership together.
However if that's not the case, but you equally love one another so much and are both prepared to work hard at modifying your personality types to suit each other wants and needs i.e. change then you're on to a winner.
Note also, that transformational change is a journey and not a destination, you have to be patient enough and die to self, so you can live for your partner, as Jesus admonished us, simply meaning we should through education conquer our EGO'S, life is such fun, when we surrender to one another, than letting our ego's get in the way of things, by feeding on our emotions.
1) Certainty/Comfort = We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.
2) Variety = At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.
Variety, will be in the form of engaging in different activities, visiting different places together, supporting each others interest, taking a liking in one's partner hobby or events.
This will bring in new positive energy into your relationship, thereby helping to reduce stress, bring about growth and also eliminate boredom, due to each other becoming comfortable with one another and living repitious & mundane lives.
3) Significance = Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn't matter.
4) Connection/Love = It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.
5) Growth = There could be some people who say they don't want to grow, but I think they're simply fearful of doing so—or perhaps NOT doing so. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it's there.
6) Contribution = The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.
If we refuse to contribute or support our partner, this will bring about resentment, it doesn't mean they aren't understanding, but due to human nature, their is a certain degree of expectation that a significant other in your life places on you, which is support and contribute something positive into their life purpose and dreams.
