Myth: My spouse and I shouldn’t talk about money because it only leads to fights.
Truth: You can’t have a great relationship until you can communicate and agree about money.
Larry Burkett, noted financial author, says, “Money is either the best or the worst area of communication in our marriages.” After years as a financial counselor and working with marriage counselors, Dave knows that money and money fights are the number one cause of divorce and the thing we fight about the most.
So if you are married and have money fights, you are normal. But if this is a real problem area for you, there is also an opportunity to improve your relationship and maybe even reach agreement with your spouse—not one brought on by surrender, but rather by each person getting a vote, understanding the other person’s view, and finding common ground.
Let’s face it—if we can agree on the checkbook, there would be nothing left to fight about except who gets the remote!
Men and Women are Different
When it comes to money, men tend to take more risks and don’t save for emergencies. Men use money as a scorecard and can struggle with self-esteem when there are financial problems.
Women tend to see money more as a security issue, so they will gravitate toward the rainy-day fund. Because of their need for security, ladies can have a level of fear—my wife, Sharon, calls it terror—when there are money problems.
Men and women are different in how they view money, and it is largely because they process problems and opportunities from different vantage points. On top of the fact that men and women are different, opposites attract. Chances are, if you’re married, one of you is good at working numbers (the nerd) and the other one isn’t good at working numbers (the free spirit). That isn’t the real problem. The problem is when the nerd neglects the input of the free spirit or when the free spirit avoids participating in the financial dealings altogether.
Marriage is a Partnership
Marriage is a partnership. The preacher said, “And now you are one.” Both parties need to be involved in the finances. Separating the finances and splitting the bills is a bad idea.
Listen up, nerds. Don’t keep the finances all to yourself. Don’t use your “power” to abuse the free spirit. Free spirits, don’t just nod your head and say, “Yeah, that looks great, honey.” You have a vote in the budget committee meetings, too. Give feedback, criticism and encouragement. Work on the budget together!
“But what if my spouse won’t get on board with me?” many of you wonder. It is tough, but with patience and kindness your spouse will eventually see the light (don’t beat them over the head with the need for a budget, and please don’t subject your spouse to a lecture of “Dave says…”).
As you work on your money together, you will begin to change your family tree. One of your main goals in your marriage should be to pass a legacy down to your children and grandchildren.
Dave Ramsey is a personal money management expert, an extremely popular national radio personality and best-selling author of The Total Money Makeover. Dave is changing the face of America by helping people get out of debt and build wealth. Ramsey exemplifies his life’s work of teaching others how to be financially responsible, so they can acquire enough wealth to take care of loved ones, live prosperously into old age, and give generously to others. Learn more about navigating through the current economy.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Seven Success Keys-By Tom Ziglar
Right now with the economic meltdown going on, or not going on, depending on if it’s Monday or Friday, I think we all want our individual success to depend on us, not on the economy, not our employer, and certainly not the government! So here are a few keys to consider:
1. “You have to be before you can do, and you have to do before you can have,” Zig Ziglar www.ziglar.com. Dad lays it out pretty clearly right here. Success starts with being the right kind of person first. Build the proper character foundation in your life, then apply it with great work ethic, and only then can you have the things in life you want.
2. “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want,” Zig Ziglar. This is the philosophy that guides your be, do, and have mindset.
3. “All great failures are moral failures,” Fred Smith www.breakfastwithfred.com. Dad’s mentor Fred Smith points out that anytime you see a great failure, it is not because of their intellect, but because of some great moral failure. The current economic crisis is a perfect example of this. Greed and instant gratification are the two primary reasons we have a crisis right now. Isn’t it morally wrong to knowingly encourage someone to take a huge risk? Isn’t it morally wrong to take a huge risk for no other reason than instant gratification?
4. “The five predictors of success for someone starting and running their own business are passion, talent, determination, self-discipline, and faith,” Dan Miller, No More Mondays, www.48days.com. Do you have what it takes to be your own boss? Dan is the go-to guy for advice on this. How cool would it be to wake up every day doing what you are passionate about? (Trust me, it’s COOL!)
5. “Debt is dumb, cash is king,” Dave Ramsey, www.daveramsey.com. Imagine having no debt in your life. Would you sleep better? How much freedom would you have? Being debt free is a choice and Dave gives you a specific plan of action on how to become debt free. I must warn you though; the plan is very simple, although not necessarily easy because there are no gimmicks or shortcuts. It only requires common sense and uncommon discipline!
6. “Eat pure,” Tom Ziglar, The Purity Diet. The most important asset you have is your health. The best thing you can do to benefit your health is to eat right. If you “eat pure” every day you will be amazed at the results.
7. “I’ve heard it, too: Motivation is temporary, and I agree. But then, so is bathing and eating, but if you do both of them on a daily basis you will live longer and smell better in the process,” Zig Ziglar. What kind of fuel are you running your brain on? Put the good, the clean, the pure, the powerful and the positive into your brain on a daily basis and the amount of good stuff that comes out will astonish you!
1. “You have to be before you can do, and you have to do before you can have,” Zig Ziglar www.ziglar.com. Dad lays it out pretty clearly right here. Success starts with being the right kind of person first. Build the proper character foundation in your life, then apply it with great work ethic, and only then can you have the things in life you want.
2. “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want,” Zig Ziglar. This is the philosophy that guides your be, do, and have mindset.
3. “All great failures are moral failures,” Fred Smith www.breakfastwithfred.com. Dad’s mentor Fred Smith points out that anytime you see a great failure, it is not because of their intellect, but because of some great moral failure. The current economic crisis is a perfect example of this. Greed and instant gratification are the two primary reasons we have a crisis right now. Isn’t it morally wrong to knowingly encourage someone to take a huge risk? Isn’t it morally wrong to take a huge risk for no other reason than instant gratification?
4. “The five predictors of success for someone starting and running their own business are passion, talent, determination, self-discipline, and faith,” Dan Miller, No More Mondays, www.48days.com. Do you have what it takes to be your own boss? Dan is the go-to guy for advice on this. How cool would it be to wake up every day doing what you are passionate about? (Trust me, it’s COOL!)
5. “Debt is dumb, cash is king,” Dave Ramsey, www.daveramsey.com. Imagine having no debt in your life. Would you sleep better? How much freedom would you have? Being debt free is a choice and Dave gives you a specific plan of action on how to become debt free. I must warn you though; the plan is very simple, although not necessarily easy because there are no gimmicks or shortcuts. It only requires common sense and uncommon discipline!
6. “Eat pure,” Tom Ziglar, The Purity Diet. The most important asset you have is your health. The best thing you can do to benefit your health is to eat right. If you “eat pure” every day you will be amazed at the results.
7. “I’ve heard it, too: Motivation is temporary, and I agree. But then, so is bathing and eating, but if you do both of them on a daily basis you will live longer and smell better in the process,” Zig Ziglar. What kind of fuel are you running your brain on? Put the good, the clean, the pure, the powerful and the positive into your brain on a daily basis and the amount of good stuff that comes out will astonish you!
…Failure Is Critical To Success- Zig Ziglar
“You’ve got to learn to lose in order to win” sounds like strange advice, but the man who says it has earned over three hundred million dollars. Even in today’s economy, that’s a considerable sum of money. Here’s the story.
In 1958 Frank and Dan Carney started a pizza parlor across from their family’s grocery store. Their goal was to pay for their college educations. Nineteen years later, Frank Carney sold the 3,100 outlet chain called “Pizza Hut” for three hundred million dollars.
Carney’s advice to those starting out in business sounds strange, but he explains the concept this way: “I’ve been involved in about 50 different business ventures and about fifteen of them were successful. That means I have about a thirty percent success average.” The major point Frank makes is this: You need to be “at bat” if you ever expect to get a hit, and it’s even more important to step back up to the plate after you strike out.
Carney says Pizza Hut was successful because he learned from his mistakes. For example, when an Oklahoma City expansion effort failed, he realized the importance of location and decor. He learned from his mistake so that the future would be brighter. When sales declined in New York, he came up with the innovative idea of introducing thick crust with substantial success. When regional pizza houses began to take part of the market share, Frank responded by introducing “Chicago-style pizza,” and again success came his way. Factually, Carney failed many times but in each case he made those failures work for him.
Failure is an experience common to all of us. Question: Will you let those failures work for you or against you? If you do as Frank Carney did, you will use your failures as learning experiences and I really will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
In 1958 Frank and Dan Carney started a pizza parlor across from their family’s grocery store. Their goal was to pay for their college educations. Nineteen years later, Frank Carney sold the 3,100 outlet chain called “Pizza Hut” for three hundred million dollars.
Carney’s advice to those starting out in business sounds strange, but he explains the concept this way: “I’ve been involved in about 50 different business ventures and about fifteen of them were successful. That means I have about a thirty percent success average.” The major point Frank makes is this: You need to be “at bat” if you ever expect to get a hit, and it’s even more important to step back up to the plate after you strike out.
Carney says Pizza Hut was successful because he learned from his mistakes. For example, when an Oklahoma City expansion effort failed, he realized the importance of location and decor. He learned from his mistake so that the future would be brighter. When sales declined in New York, he came up with the innovative idea of introducing thick crust with substantial success. When regional pizza houses began to take part of the market share, Frank responded by introducing “Chicago-style pizza,” and again success came his way. Factually, Carney failed many times but in each case he made those failures work for him.
Failure is an experience common to all of us. Question: Will you let those failures work for you or against you? If you do as Frank Carney did, you will use your failures as learning experiences and I really will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
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