The Needy Little Girl
This woman is every man’s worst fear. This type of woman is whiney and frequently verbalizes how desperate she is to get married. What is so frightening about this type of woman is that men can’t often identify her until they are well into a relationship.
Initially, this type of woman appears to be independent. She has been told that she is clingy or needy and often overcompensates by trying to be ultra independent.
However, once she is in a relationship and feels safe, her neediness begins to manifest.
TIP: Ironically, these women would do better to allow men to see some vulnerability right away, which is actually what most men expect, rather than give to everyone else but themselves and then expect a man to make up for their empty feelings.
The Man Hater, Witch (or other like words)
This type is different from all the others in one aspect. Most men will give this type of woman more of a chance and try and win her over, simply because she is a challenge.
Because of her strength (anger), most men don’t want to be in a committed relationship with her (and forget marriage), but they are intrigued with her perceived strength and view it as a conquest if they can get this type into bed.
This type of woman has the competitiveness of a man and the sensitivity of a woman. In an instant, she can switch from being very seductive to emotionally distant.
Put simply, she uses her hatred for men as a shield to avoid being hurt……again.
TIP: These women tend to be very guarded against getting hurt. In relationships, when they do give their heart to a man, they often allow the relationship to proceed too fast, which frequently overwhelms most men. The most important thing they need to learn is how to s-l-o-w-l-y allow a man to capture their heart.
The Career Queen
The common myth is that men are threatened by successful women. Actually, like most myths, there is an element of truth to this, which makes it so appealing. Men are not “threatened” by successful women as much as they feel that a successful woman doesn’t need them.
I have counseled many single, professional women who have told me, “I make good money, own my own house and have a wonderful social life. I don’t need a man to make me happy.” My reply to them is often, “Then why would any man want to be with you? What could he possibly contribute to your life when you are self-sufficient and self-fulfilled?”
Granted, men don’t want a woman who is totally dependent on them, but it is flattering to a man when a confident woman allows herself to depend on them, versus when they don’t appear to need a man at all.
TIP: Most men want to be the center of a woman’s interest, whether that is fair or not, and don’t want her devotion to work placed above her devotion to him.
The Motor Mouth
From a man’s perspective, a talkative woman isn’t good or bad. There is a perception that women use thousands more words per day than men. What most articles fail to mention is that this depends on the topic of conversation.
If the subject is sports, most men will talk a lot more than a woman will. Should the conversation change to something feminine, such as a friend’s baby, the woman will inevitably use more words.
Most women are accused of being too talkative when, in actuality, they are speaking more simply because they are discussing a subject that has great interest to them, not just because “women talk more.”
In addition, most men aren’t good at talking over each other, the way women do effortlessly with their girlfriends. In a woman’s world, I speak, you speak, and everyone speaks together. Just join in the conversation whenever the mood strikes you.
In the world of men, that is considered rude because men view conversation the same as “having the floor” of a debate. In other words, when he speaks, it’s his turn to speak and he is not to be interrupted until he’s done. Now that’s a little overdone, but not far from the truth.
Therefore, when a woman asks a man a question and he proceeds to answer her – and then she begins to interject her opinions for the next 10 minutes – he’ll just quit trying.
TIP: Men aren’t that different from women. Excessive talking is actually a form of conversation hogging. Don’t dominate the conversation unless you know it’s a topic that interests him
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Attract More Positive Relationships into Your Life
Discover how to attract more positive relationships into your life. It's not as hard as you think! As we travel through our life's journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.
. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.
• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one,don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.
2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.
• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!
3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.
• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.
4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.
• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future valuable relationships.
5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.
• Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.
As the old saying goes, "Nothing worth having in life comes easily." Attracting positive relationships - and weeding out the negative ones - may not be an easy task, but it'll make for a better and more fulfilling life.
. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.
• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one,don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.
2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.
• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!
3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.
• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.
4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.
• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future valuable relationships.
5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.
• Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.
As the old saying goes, "Nothing worth having in life comes easily." Attracting positive relationships - and weeding out the negative ones - may not be an easy task, but it'll make for a better and more fulfilling life.
Monday, August 24, 2009
50 Universal Truths About Men
50 Universal Truths About Men:
Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.
I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.
I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.
I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.
When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.
I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.
Please don’t ask me how you look unless you’re willing to trust my answer.
My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.
When you’re happy with me I can’t help but want to please you.
If I don’t feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.
I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.
Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.
I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.
If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, you’re too weak for me to open up to when I’m upset.
Sitting quietly next to me after you’ve made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You’ll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.
You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I’m considering leaving you.
I don’t read minds. Remember, I’m not a woman.
You may know fashion, but I wish you’d dress to please me, not other women.
If I’m losing my hair, it’s not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?
When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I’ve listened to you talk about what is important to you.
The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.
You look hot in a dress.
I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel like you're my mother.
If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.
During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.
I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you’re married!?
It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.
It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.
Being respected is more important to me that being loved.
I want every man to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don’t let yourself go.
When I’m upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important than what you say.
I hate it when you minimize, ignore or tell me I don’t mean my compliments. It makes me want to stop giving them.
I’m more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?
I don’t always know how I feel. That’s why I don’t tell you.
I don’t need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.
If I do one thing and say something contradictory – go with my actions – that will always tell you what’s in my heart.
I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something (like a favor).
I really don’t want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.
If I don’t share what I’m thinking, it’s because I don’t think you will listen without interrupting.
I don’t like to argue and I don’t like to guess what’s wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.
I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it’s a Freudian thing.
Don’t ask me, “Are you going to wear that?” when I’m already dressed.
A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.
If you don’t believe you’re pretty, you won’t believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.
It isn’t how much you weigh, it’s that your body is proportionate, which is so attractive.
Sometimes I have weird, strange or very sexual thoughts. I don’t take them seriously and I don’t want to share them with you (or anyone).
Sometimes you really don’t want to know what I’m thinking. See above.
If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.
I don’t remember everything about our relationship but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
I need some time to myself to calm down when I’m upset so that I don’t say something I will regret.
Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.
I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.
I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.
I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.
When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.
I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.
Please don’t ask me how you look unless you’re willing to trust my answer.
My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.
When you’re happy with me I can’t help but want to please you.
If I don’t feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.
I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.
Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.
I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.
If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, you’re too weak for me to open up to when I’m upset.
Sitting quietly next to me after you’ve made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You’ll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.
You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I’m considering leaving you.
I don’t read minds. Remember, I’m not a woman.
You may know fashion, but I wish you’d dress to please me, not other women.
If I’m losing my hair, it’s not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?
When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I’ve listened to you talk about what is important to you.
The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.
You look hot in a dress.
I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel like you're my mother.
If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.
During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.
I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you’re married!?
It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.
It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.
Being respected is more important to me that being loved.
I want every man to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don’t let yourself go.
When I’m upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important than what you say.
I hate it when you minimize, ignore or tell me I don’t mean my compliments. It makes me want to stop giving them.
I’m more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?
I don’t always know how I feel. That’s why I don’t tell you.
I don’t need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.
If I do one thing and say something contradictory – go with my actions – that will always tell you what’s in my heart.
I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something (like a favor).
I really don’t want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.
If I don’t share what I’m thinking, it’s because I don’t think you will listen without interrupting.
I don’t like to argue and I don’t like to guess what’s wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.
I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it’s a Freudian thing.
Don’t ask me, “Are you going to wear that?” when I’m already dressed.
A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.
If you don’t believe you’re pretty, you won’t believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.
It isn’t how much you weigh, it’s that your body is proportionate, which is so attractive.
Sometimes I have weird, strange or very sexual thoughts. I don’t take them seriously and I don’t want to share them with you (or anyone).
Sometimes you really don’t want to know what I’m thinking. See above.
If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.
I don’t remember everything about our relationship but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
I need some time to myself to calm down when I’m upset so that I don’t say something I will regret.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Top Ten Things Women always want to hear
Men fall in love with their eyes; women do so with their ears
” Below are top ten things women always want to hear from a guy. When it comes to love and relationships, there are a few key phrases that melt our hearts almost every time.
1. How was Your Day?
2. I love You
3. How do you feel?
4. You are My Best Friend.
5. I never knew you are so smart
6. You are so beautiful
7. Will you spend your life with me?
8. How can I help you?
9. You’re perfect for Me.
10. You are my one and only one
” Below are top ten things women always want to hear from a guy. When it comes to love and relationships, there are a few key phrases that melt our hearts almost every time.
1. How was Your Day?
2. I love You
3. How do you feel?
4. You are My Best Friend.
5. I never knew you are so smart
6. You are so beautiful
7. Will you spend your life with me?
8. How can I help you?
9. You’re perfect for Me.
10. You are my one and only one
Monday, August 17, 2009
5 Compliments Every Woman Loves To Hear
Words of appreciation spoken directly to your romantic partner go far in paving the way to a happy, healthy relationship. What is sometimes too easily forgotten: disagreements among couples (from trifling to serious) can nearly always be overcome with a few words of gratitude from a partner (a.k.a., a healthy dose of authentic compliments). But it takes more than a "Hey Baby, you're hot" to really win points with your partner here. These are the top five compliments every woman loves to hear. If you can't remember the words verbatim, remember the key principles: appreciation, support and acceptance. This is the triage to a strong, lasting and powerful romantic endeavor.
1.You're Irreplaceable. This is a surefire way to light up your partner’s eyes. Saying these words (with full eye contact, of course) lets the special one in your life know that you know who she is as a person and that you value her as a unique individual. Why is this so effective? Think about when you break up with someone and part ways. One of the worst ramifications of the break-up is finding out, via Facebook update or chattering among friends, that you've been replaced by someone new. On the flip side, hearing from your current partner that you're valued for more than what you look like scores big, meaningful points.
2. You bring light to my life. Yes, we know this sounds like a bit much. But bear with us and let us make one point: relationships can go off course when one or both partners takes for granted the contributions the other makes to their lives. Saying this shows that a man understands and remembers that a women chooses to be with her man and opts to give her energy and time to him. Showing he appreciates that she shares her life with him is symphonic to a woman's ears. If the word light is a tad too over-the-top for you try replacing it with happiness, joy, sunshine—whichever word you can say with genuine meaning.
3. You are perfect just the way that you are. This one takes the gold star award for ability to make a woman’s day, week, month or even year (if, that is, whenever she gets miffed at you for something small she recalls you saying this to her). Ingrid Michaelson sang it best with her lyrics to the song "The Way that I Am." If you really want to make your partner's day, we suggest e-mailing this song or youtube video to the woman you love. Deep, lasting love is unconditional. Showing that you comprehend and embrace this idea will touch your partner way more than superficial comments such as, "Your earrings are cute." Dating A Golddigger
4. I love your (fill in the blank: bright eyes, cute toes, toned arms, sleek legs, silky hair). We did not mean to give the impression above that we women do not like to hear you notice when we put extra effort into looking foxy for our man. But what’s key here is that what you say is genuine. Don’t just pick any random feature. Think about it. What is your partner’s best physical attribute and why do you like it? Telling your partner this will show her you pay attention to details, and to her.
5. I am so proud of you. A big deal-breaker in any relationship can be supporting one another’s life goals or not. Paying attention to your partner’s current goals she is working hard to achieve endear her to you for life. Whether it is paying off her credit card debt, completing a class, putting in extra hours to earn a promotion or even trying to better balance her life, show your loving support for your women. Her heart will melt then and every time thereafter she remembers when you supported along the way to making things happen and brushing off when the chips are down.
1.You're Irreplaceable. This is a surefire way to light up your partner’s eyes. Saying these words (with full eye contact, of course) lets the special one in your life know that you know who she is as a person and that you value her as a unique individual. Why is this so effective? Think about when you break up with someone and part ways. One of the worst ramifications of the break-up is finding out, via Facebook update or chattering among friends, that you've been replaced by someone new. On the flip side, hearing from your current partner that you're valued for more than what you look like scores big, meaningful points.
2. You bring light to my life. Yes, we know this sounds like a bit much. But bear with us and let us make one point: relationships can go off course when one or both partners takes for granted the contributions the other makes to their lives. Saying this shows that a man understands and remembers that a women chooses to be with her man and opts to give her energy and time to him. Showing he appreciates that she shares her life with him is symphonic to a woman's ears. If the word light is a tad too over-the-top for you try replacing it with happiness, joy, sunshine—whichever word you can say with genuine meaning.
3. You are perfect just the way that you are. This one takes the gold star award for ability to make a woman’s day, week, month or even year (if, that is, whenever she gets miffed at you for something small she recalls you saying this to her). Ingrid Michaelson sang it best with her lyrics to the song "The Way that I Am." If you really want to make your partner's day, we suggest e-mailing this song or youtube video to the woman you love. Deep, lasting love is unconditional. Showing that you comprehend and embrace this idea will touch your partner way more than superficial comments such as, "Your earrings are cute." Dating A Golddigger
4. I love your (fill in the blank: bright eyes, cute toes, toned arms, sleek legs, silky hair). We did not mean to give the impression above that we women do not like to hear you notice when we put extra effort into looking foxy for our man. But what’s key here is that what you say is genuine. Don’t just pick any random feature. Think about it. What is your partner’s best physical attribute and why do you like it? Telling your partner this will show her you pay attention to details, and to her.
5. I am so proud of you. A big deal-breaker in any relationship can be supporting one another’s life goals or not. Paying attention to your partner’s current goals she is working hard to achieve endear her to you for life. Whether it is paying off her credit card debt, completing a class, putting in extra hours to earn a promotion or even trying to better balance her life, show your loving support for your women. Her heart will melt then and every time thereafter she remembers when you supported along the way to making things happen and brushing off when the chips are down.
Monday, August 10, 2009
5 Top Reasons Why Relationships Break Up
There are five top reasons as to why relationships break up and although there are a thousand and one reasons why you may have lost a loved one, the chances are that it will fall into one of these main categories.
1. Infidelity - A lot more than just love is needed to make a relationship work; trust, honesty and respect are all required to keep things ticking over nicely and without one of these things, the rest will just fail. Infidelity causes a lack of trust, respect and honesty and this in turn leads to lessened feelings of love.
2. Abuse - Mental and physical abuse even if it is something as small as name calling can be one of the biggest killers of a relationship and many people are in an abusive relationship for a long time before it finally ends.
3. Emotionless and cold relationships - If a relationship is starting to lose the excitement that it once held then it is possible for one or both parties to fall out of love. This can also lead to infidelity where a partner is desperate to get the love and affection they need and therefore go elsewhere to get it.
4. No time for each other - Busy lives are one of top reasons that relationships fall apart with the people within the relationship not having enough time to show each other that they are loved and not being able to do the things that they enjoy doing together.
5. Falling in love with someone else - Sometimes this simply cannot be helped and falling for another person will inevitably break apart the existing relationship that a person is in.
1. Infidelity - A lot more than just love is needed to make a relationship work; trust, honesty and respect are all required to keep things ticking over nicely and without one of these things, the rest will just fail. Infidelity causes a lack of trust, respect and honesty and this in turn leads to lessened feelings of love.
2. Abuse - Mental and physical abuse even if it is something as small as name calling can be one of the biggest killers of a relationship and many people are in an abusive relationship for a long time before it finally ends.
3. Emotionless and cold relationships - If a relationship is starting to lose the excitement that it once held then it is possible for one or both parties to fall out of love. This can also lead to infidelity where a partner is desperate to get the love and affection they need and therefore go elsewhere to get it.
4. No time for each other - Busy lives are one of top reasons that relationships fall apart with the people within the relationship not having enough time to show each other that they are loved and not being able to do the things that they enjoy doing together.
5. Falling in love with someone else - Sometimes this simply cannot be helped and falling for another person will inevitably break apart the existing relationship that a person is in.
Friday, August 7, 2009
25 tips for relationship successby Susan Quilliam
25 tips for relationship successby Susan Quilliam What's the key to successful relationships? Here, Susan Quilliam reveals the simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.
7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.
9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you.
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.
7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.
9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you.
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.
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